Today feels like a good day to inhabit the cave of breath. I am going to ride Deo today. I am excited about that. I am also remembering what my friend, the sculptor and painter Peggy Kauffman, said to me about her horses: “I never sold a horse, I just learned how to ride them.” When she said that, I thought, “Yes, but . . . “ I could not imagine learning how to ride Deo after nine years of NOT being able to ride him. Now I think that maybe that is possible. That does not mean I will not let him go, but it does mean that I have stepped over a big, thorny fence in myself and between us.
The wind is strong and balmy outside, and it is warm enough to take my work outdoors and sit where it is dry, and let the breathing day inform my heart and mind. My hope is that it will blow out the current darkness that comes with making a difficult decision, that it will help me listen, open and allow.